As I watch my kids prepare for Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but think about how uncomplicated love is when you’re a preschooler. In a strange way, I kind of wish I’d had a few preschoolers’ advice when I was navigating through my own past romantic relationships. It might have saved me some agony and heartache. After all, in a few short years, I’ve learned a lot about love from my 3- and 5-year-old.

Here’s what they’ve taught me about how to love like a preschooler:

1) Don’t hold back from saying “I love you.”

A child plays no games in the love department. She simply expresses whatever she’s feeling at that moment. If she is holding my hand and suddenly wants to say, “Mommy, I love you,” she does. If she wants to give me a kiss, she just leans right on over. There’s no calculating for the right moment; no worries about “what if I say ‘I love you’ and he doesn’t say it back?” A child just says it because it feels right. Because it’s genuine. And because it simply makes her — and you — happier to say it.

2) Share your cheese.

My 3-year-old son, Max, has a crush on a cute pig-tailed girl in his preschool. The inflection point when she turned from classmate to “love-of-his-life” occurred the day she shared her cheese with him. His telling of that moment reminded me that everyone just wants to be treated nicely — and perhaps enjoy some cheese together. A preschooler doesn’t care if a friend is chubby, thin, the perfect height or wearing designer duds. They just know they want to play with someone who is fun to be with, kind and willing to share their cheese.

3) Tell it like it is.

Love means no game playing, false compliments or untruths. The other night I was getting all dressed up for a long-awaited date night with the Hubs. As I walked out of the bathroom, all primped and ready for a night on the town, Max looked at me innocently and said, “Mommy, are those new pajamas?” No pussyfooting around what he thought. So refreshing. So honest. I changed my outfit immediately.

4) Bother to wave goodbye and hug hello.

There isn’t a day when Max doesn’t want to wave “bye-bye” to me from the window or run to the door with hugs when I step in. I know he’s got more important things to do, like playing with his trains or squishing playdoh into the carpet, but he never fails to let me know how much he’ll miss me or missed me. It makes me feel wonderful. And so loved. There have been so many times when I’m doing the dishes or in the middle of work and I just yell, “Hi!” when my husband walks in the door. Now I make an effort to stop and walk over to let him know how much I’ve missed him: a simple lesson taught by my 3-year-old.

 5) Spread your smiles and love around

Max says he loves us and his sister Elle. But we aren’t the only ones he loves. Among others, he also loves his preschool teachers, his swim teacher, his babysitter, his stuffed dog, Santa Claus, the cashier at the local grocery store and the guy who picks up our recycling. I am not advocating free love, but I have learned that one way to a happy soul is to share love and kindness liberally and without reservation. When Max sees each of these folks during the week, he smiles broadly and waves almost frantically … and I’ve got to say, he gets a heck of a lot of love back.

To make your way in this complicated world of love, sometimes you’ve just got to love like a preschooler. If you agree, share this. Happy Valentine's Day!