When I was a kid, Mother’s Day was important, but admittedly the same year after year.  I would make Mom a card, and at school, we would work on some handcrafted gift — a key chain, a frame made from popsicle sticks, a pottery ashtray (hey, it was the ‘70s)— to be presented to her that weekend.  I don’t recall my Mom ever using those gifts, but I do remember how great my Mom would make me feel as she opened my gift with wide-eyed enthusiasm that I now know was more for my satisfaction than her own.

Then as a teenager, the Mother’s Day routine was for Dad to take us out to buy a bouquet of flowers and for my brother and me to give her some present that department store ads declared was the “Ultimate Mother’s Day Gift” — smelly perfume,  a heart-shaped candy dish.  Mother’s Day was a day to celebrate Mom, but I don’t think I really got it.  To me, it was just like celebrating someone’s birthday: a day of gifts, hugs and maybe a cake.

Later, when I was away at college, as I started learning how to live on my own, I realized how much my Mom did for me.  How could I manage without her?  I didn’t recognize how much effort it took to cook a meal or wash dishes.  Mother’s Day was important, but my appreciation was still superficial.  It was focused on all the things that Mom did: laundry, cooking, keeping the house clean.

 As I began to step out into the world, Mother’s Day grew more significant.  I began to understand not only what Mom did but now I understood why she did it.  It wasn’t just about making sure we had clean stain-free clothes; it was about the self-respect that it engendered.  It wasn’t about the spotless house, but how she wanted her kids to grow up with pride of home.  It wasn’t about broccoli and peas; it was teaching us to take care of ourselves and our health.  

 On Mother’s Day, my gratitude grew deeper.

 Now that I am a mother myself, I see Mother’s Day in a completely new light.  I understand what it means to be a mom and I’ve never been more grateful.   If my childhood was all about appreciating what mom did, and my 20’s were all about appreciating why mom did it, then today it is all about appreciating how she did it — with a smile on her face, with a gentle nudge, or sternness when necessary.  

 Because as a Mom, it’s not the what and why that I struggle with the most … it’s always the how. 

My Mom makes me want to be a better Mom, and for that I am thankful to her this Mother’s Day. And every day.

 How has Mother’s Day changed for you now that you are a Mom?