As we approach Valentine’s day, I think back to those moments of exchanging valentines at school, first crushes and when I fell in love with my husband.  Ah, those butterflies in your stomach, the anticipation of a first kiss and of course, hearing those little three words…

But no recent memory has been more impactful or emotional than having my then-2-year-old daughter look up at me with her big brown eyes and say, “I love you,” for the first time.

Like the moment when my husband proposed, or when I found out I was pregnant, or saw my favorite rock star in a random San Francisco restaurant, I remember very clearly when it was and where I was the first time my daughter told me she loved me.

You see, unlike her brother Max, Elle is not what you’d call a “cuddler.”  Sure, she'll give you the occasional hug but whereas Max runs over and squeezes you tightly, Elle’s hugs have to be skillfully extracted and are never really doled out generously.

It was just 2 weeks after bringing home newborn Max from the hospital.   I was in that thick mental maternal fog that hangs over you during the first few weeks after giving birth.  I was sleep-deprived, recovering from a C-section and trying desperately to adjust to life with a newborn again.  It wasn’t pretty.  I had a particularly hard day; I was worried that Max wasn’t gaining weight, stressed out and generally exhausted.

That night, Elle and I were sitting on my bed as I held a sleeping Max in my arms.  I was probably half-conscious when she suddenly leaned over to me and said for the first time, "I love you, mommy". Just like that.  Out of the blue.

Maybe I was still in a hormone-induced haze, but those words made me feel like I was floating on air and they somehow propelled me through the next weeks of life with a newborn.  It was like my little 2-year old knew what I needed at that moment: to hear those three little words that reminded me that all the effort, pain, stress and tears of early mommyhood were worth it…

And even now, Max, who hasn’t uttered that many words yet, has expressed, “I love you,” in his own way: through his spontaneous hugs, holding a cuddle a little longer than expected or giving his wide-mouthed grin that spreads over his entire face, turning his eyes into little slits.  So this Valentine’s day, beyond the predictable “I love yous” and conventional sentiments, those uninhibited and fresh, “I love you, mommy” moments are what I will be celebrating.

When did your child first express, “I love you?”