We are about 6 weeks into Max’s potty training, and remarkably, all-out chaos has not ensued. I haven’t even cried once.

In fact, I don’t want to jinx it, but while there have been some bumps in the road, things have been going reasonably well. So in an attempt to savor this moment of pottying success, here are my top 6 lessons about potty training I’ve learned over the last 6 weeks:

1.       Coordinate incentives

If others in your home are helping you potty train your little darling, don’t make the same mistake we made. Don’t overpromise rewards; coordinate incentives.  Potty training my daughter, Elle, was so frustrating that right out of the gate, my husband and I started giving massive rewards for Max to pee. 

Me (to my husband): I guess I should have discussed this with you, but I told him if he poops, we’re all going to Chuck E Cheese. 

Him (sheepishly):  I guess I should have discussed this with you, but I told him if he poops, we will buy him an electric guitar. 

Whaaaat?!

In the desperate attempt to make a kid poop, you may make dramatic promises. We still owe our kid a trip to Chuck E Cheese, a guitar and about a half-dozen chocolate bars. Coordinate, coordinate, coordinate.

2.      Regression will happen. Be prepared

At first things were going swimmingly. No accidents ensued, stickers were collected and multiple packages of M&Ms were consumed. Good times in our household. Max was pottying like an animal.  The Hubs and I were giving each other “high fives” and celebrating how smoothly everything was going.

Then came the regression.

I woke up one morning and walked into Max’s room and noticed a distinctly foul odor in the air.

Me:  Did you poop!?

Max (hopefully): Yeah!  In my pants!  Do I get M&Ms?

 As I said, good times in our household.

3.       Your child’s feats of stubbornness will amaze you

I am still in awe of the obstinacy I’ve encountered from Max in the last month: Refuses to sit on potty. Will sit on potty but refuses to pee. Will pee, but refuses to wash hands.  Will wash hands, but refuses to use soap. Argh!  

Even as we break down the pottying process into smaller steps — sit, pee, flush, wash hands, reward, mom tries not to lose it — it is amazing how this simple chain of events can take over 10 minutes once you throw in some toddler willfulness. 

4.       You will act like an idiot to get him to pee

Perhaps what’s most frustrating to me is how utterly unimpressed Max is by my ridiculous acts to get him to potty train. When we first started training, I would sing songs, tell jokes, make up elaborate stories about successfully peeing and pooping children — all to no avail. He just looked up at me from the potty, unmoved (and unpeeing.) 

Even once he started getting the hang of going in the potty, he would still be indifferent to my enthusiasm around the process. The other week, I was excitedly cheering for Max after a pottying “success.” As I bounced around the bathroom doing the “Yay-for-Max Potty Dance,” (which involves some hip-swaying and arm-waving that my husband has begged me never to do in public) I thought Max would eagerly want to join in the celebration. Instead he shuffled for his room and started playing with his trains, pants still around his ankles. The little man was totally uninspired by my acts of crazy. Which makes me wonder if I am actually turning crazy …

5.       It’s messy

OK, this is a no-brainer, but life (or at least your bathroom) will be messy and possibly covered in puddles for a while.  Pee doesn’t always land where it should, and don’t even get me started on the poop!  I've gone through more canisters of disinfecting wipes and bottles of Clorox 2 Stain Remover in the last few weeks than I care to remember. Stock up now!  

6.       Potty training can be fun

OK maybe “fun” is a stretch, but potty-training is such a big milestone for a child. Sure it’s frustrating, but if you’re like me, when that first “deposit” successfully goes into the potty, you will look down at that poop and joyfully cry out for what, in that moment, seems like the day’s most divine blessing.  

And when I see the pride in Max’s eyes as he declares he’s a “big boy” and beams up at me enthusiastically, I am genuinely proud of him. 

Can a heart swell with pride over watching a little guy pee into a plastic potty?  The answer is yes.

What tips do you have from your potty training experience?